The building blocks of personal development

There are a lot of skills and techniques talked about when it comes to personal development. I think below all of the different methods of growth is a basic tool kit of traits that we use no matter the method. Each of these elements can be grown and built up and once you or I become strong in these areas the factors of our life that made us wish to change in the first place will be easier to deal with. When we combine these with a road map of goals and dreams our lives will be transformed, not suddenly and miraculously but over time the hard work will pay off.

Confidence: Without confidence in ourselves and in the tools we are using for personnel growth we can find it easier to doubt and give up on the tasks we set for ourselves. Self confidence also creates an attitude of presupposed success which can be very useful for keeping us motivated. Even if confidence is an area you struggle with by simply focusing on doing things you know you will be successful at you can build it. Each success you have in your day is another brick to add to the foundation of confidence.

Honesty: When we look at ourselves we need to admit the problems we are having honestly. When we hide the real issues we are dealing with from our selves we never get a chance to work on what the problem. At best we are only treating the symptoms. We also need to be honest about the factors that contribute to our successes, sometimes from a lack of confidents we tend to give the praise to others when we are deserving of that praise. Be honest about victories and failures and use them to learn.

Willingness: We must be willing to change. If we are just paying lip service to the ideas that personnel development is good for us but willing to make sacrifices or do hard work nothing will change. When we decide that we are going to grow and change then we stop being self defeating, we stop sabotaging ourselves and the work becomes much easier.

Perseverance: The power to keep going
when the going gets tough. Perseverance keeps us going; it is the stubborn mule that will not stop until it reaches the top of the hill. It also keeps us from failing, as long as we are willing to keep trying to do something we have not failed.

Willpower: This is the resistance to the things that would pull us down. Willpower can keep us from being diverted from our course of growth and change. If perseverance is the mule willpower is the reins keeping you on track and heading in the right direction.

Wisdom: The ability to discern what is good for us and the world and what is detrimental. Wisdom comes with experience; from learning from our successes and failures.

True kindness

The world today needs more kindness. I don't think that this is a circumstance that is peculiar to our times but perhaps a key factor in the social condition of the human animal. But what is kindness and how do we foster it, make it grow and flourish in the hard soil of tough economic times?

Kindness
a definition

Wikipedia has this to say on the subject "Kindness is the act or the state of being kind and marked by charitable behavior, marked by mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others." And this is a good place to start when thinking about the subject. Kindness can be directed at ourselves or at others. Kindness cannot be faked, even when we do something nice for someone out of a selfish motive it is still a kindness. The only time kindness can be corrupted is when we hold our kind actions over the heads of others. However as you can see this does not conform to the definition of kindness since it shows both a lack of tenderness and concern for others.

It is important to note that kindness is not the same as foolhardy generosity. When we are kind we give of our time money and energy to help ourselves and other accomplish what needs to be done. The key here and what separates it from pure generosity is that we do not give what is wanted but what is needed. When you stop to think about it kindness can be quite egotistical, since to give what is needed is to suppose that we can know what others need.

Kindness must be moderated by wisdom

To practice true kindness we must first cultivate wisdom and discernment, we must be able to separate the wants from the needs. We have to have the clarity to see when being given something will do more harm than having to work for it. And we must be able to give only what we are willing to part with. When we give too much we can become resentful corrupting what may have been an act of true kindness. The responsibility for the giving rests with the giver not the receiver since the only action they preformed was to except what was offered.

To give what is not needed is foolishness, to give what cannot be handled is foolishness to give that which we cannot stand to lose is foolishness. When we desired to be generous and kind we must do it in a way that leaves the receiver in a better position not just martially but also holistically. The kind action we take towards them must make them better not just in body but in mind and nature as well.

I need to stop and thank Patty from Why not start now for writing the post that got me started thinking about kindness. So go out there and be kind and be gentle but do it with wisdom. As always I love to hear your thoughts and comments and have a great weekend.