Controlling the Ride

~photo curtsy of LilGoldWmn

This is the moment when I realize I took on to much

once again.

I have been playing a lot of GemCraft : Labyrinth lately. It started with just trying to get a badge on kongregate, and then I decide to use it for my video game review for the paper. Finally I could not stop playing until I had beaten it. Now I have beaten it and still want to play more.

This is not only because I still find the game challenging and fun. I do, but also because the game illustrates a tendency in myself that I am trying to beat. The game rewards patient, consistent play while giving you the opportunity to take on more then you are ready for.

I have a tendency to do the latter, to say, “I can handle more,” and mash down on the button that will make things go faster. I have this tendency not just in video games but in life as well. It is not so much a lack of patience as a tendency to overestimate my capabilities.

This leads to a roller coaster of high energy manic work trying to keep up with what I have said I would do, and then the car comes off the rails a bit, a few people, I mean projects are thrown out and I find myself burnt out and having to slog up the next hill.

For me the feeling of accomplishment when I beat a level on GemCraft is quite a good reward but the hard part will be transferring the lesson over into real life. I do enjoy being super busy, in bouncing from one project to the next. There is a rush that comes with this sort of manic creativity, however at the same time it does no one any good when we take on more than we can handle.

Part of knowing ourselves is knowing what we can handle and the warning signs when our roller coaster car is about jump the tracks. Keeping inside the edge of our limit is productive, going past them is being unreliable.

Sacrifice and Urdu

A language is worth the work of a life time for some.

I recently watched a short documentary on the last handwritten newspaper in the world. The paper is the Musalman and is not just handwritten but written in Urdu calligraphy. The paper is staffed by four people who produce the four page paper every day. Their love and dedication is amazing.

“I have sacrificed my life for Urdu,” Syed Faizullah says in the documentary. The paper was founded by Faizullah's father over 80 years ago to help preserve the tradition of Urdu calligraphy. Syed continued on as editor of the paper when his father passed away and now his own son runs the show.

His idea of sacrifice, really this family’s sacrifice, has resonated with me. Sacrifice here is not the idea of giving up one’s life but dedicating it to service of something outside the self; of giving our time and energy to create, develop, preserve or protect something that is important to us.

All we really have in life is our time and whether we realize it or not we are sacrificing our lives to something every day. Faizullah recognizes this, and more so, he embraces it. However, most of us do not. Most of us go through our lives not thinking about what we serve, what we sacrifice and when we do we resent what we have lost.

Our sacrifices should not be things of resentment. They should be gifts freely given to those people, concepts and ideas that we feel make the world a better place.

When we willingly give ourselves to these tasks of sacrifice great things can be created. We inspire others to share our passion to preserve the things that we have struggled to preserve and to create the things we have tried to create.

In the documentary we see the current staff speak with pride of their paper. We see them offer their dedication equal to that of Faizullah, a willingness to give their lifetimes to the paper.

They know why they sacrifice. Do we?

Your goals should be yours

When we decide it is time to grow as a person we often run about setting goals. We look outside our elves to books, to teachers and to blogs to tell us what we should work on. While these sources are great as sign posts if we do not look inside our selves we are still only working on the world's definition of successes. To truly find happiness and be successful we need to do it in a way that is as unique as we are and as personal as our private thoughts.

When deciding if our goals are our own we need to make sure that they meet certain criteria. Do they support our dreams? Are they in line with our values? Does it feed your passions? And dos it honor your commitments?

Dreams: When you day dream and let your mind wander over to the things you would like in your life where does it go. Think back to when you were younger and you knew you would do something great; what was it you dreamed of doing, how would you change the world?

Passion: What exits you what drives you on what gets your blood up? Passion gives us energy to push on to fight when the going gets tough. From passion comes resolve.

Values: We all have guiding principles. These core values help us make decisions and feel that we are doing the right thing. When we work towards a goal that does not fit our values we are left feeling like phonies and fakes.

Commitments: We make commitments to other people and to our selves every day. We must take these commitments seriously because they have a huge effect on how people see us. They affect how people expect us to act and therefore how we will act when we are around them.

When we set goals we need to think about these things and decide if this goal is something that comes from inside us or if it is the product of advertising and promotion. If we do change in to the person we want to be we will not be happy no matter how much work we do.

If you want to see these ideas in action, what it looks like when our passions, dreams, commitments and values all line up and are put in to action watch Jamie Oliver presenting his TED Prize wish.

Overloaded at the salad bar

Some days I think I need a bigger plate. As usual when I start getting in to a good creative place in my life I overfill my schedule with all the things I want to do. TO much school, blogging and gaming and I start to feel overloaded. At the same time this is the place where I perform best at, when I look back at my life the times I am happiest when I have overscheduled my life with things I want to do. The habit of over scheduling myself has its pros and cones.

The advantages of over scheduling

I am fortunate right now that everything on my plate is something I want to be there, indeed there is not a lima bean or brusle sprout in sight. This overabundance of things I want to do has the added effect of focusing my time and actually allowing me to get more done. When there is not a constant time pressure then I slack and wait for a time I feel like working on a project. Under that situation there is always a video game to play or a funny picture to look at on the internet. When I have spared myself a bit too thin these distractions start to fall away (well for the most part).

Also I find that when I have a lot of work to do I become more creative. The parties of writing each day for example keeps my brain prepped and ready to produce. Since I have moved the blog to a daily schedule I find that ideas flow more readily and organize themselves more coherently. I have created a habit of inspiration which so far is serving me well. I do not know if I would be able to maintain this sort of energy without a deadline hanging over my head

The disadvantages of over scheduling

Some projects however do not get the attention they deserve. For example my second blog only gets a post now and then. Even though it is about my gaming hobby it does not get much love. The same is true for a few other newer projects I would like to start. There is not enough time in the day for me to truly commit the energy I want to them.

I also sometimes find myself having to make room for the people in my life. This in my opinion is the biggest negative. In the long run I value family and friends over projects so I have to constantly strive to balance my work against my life.

Another downside to my overcrowded schedule is that the parts of projects that don't interest me are what does not get done. I should take the time to prep for game sessions setting up the encounters before I sit down at the table but most of the time I wing it. And that is just one example. Even the projects I focus on the most do not get done to the highest standard that they could.

In the end however I don't think half of the things I start would even get off the ground if I did not have so much to work on. So for now I will put up with good enough over never finished. I think in the next few weeks I will work to refine my schedule and build in time for the projects that have not gotten the attention they deserve. The other thing that worries me is how long can I keep this state of high yield production running. If I do it long enough will it become habit, I hope so, I like it here in the high octane world of overworking myself.

When the possibilities are to much

There are many things that can stop us from ever getting started on chasing our dreams, doubt, worry, and low self confidence come to mind easily, but one area that is not often mentioned or thought about is the overwhelming issue of possibilities. Some times the problem is not what is my dream or how do I find my passion but instead we are trying to decide which passion should I fallow or which dream should I work on. I was talking to a friend about this very problem and we hit upon an interesting way of handling it.

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you may have figured out that i like lists as a way to organize my thoughts and that is were we will start off once again. Get your self three sheets of paper and a pen and we will get started. On the first dheet of paper write out every idea you want to pusue every dream you want to fulfill and every passion you wish to explore. When this is done go through the list and on the second sheet of paper write out the top five ideas from your first list giving your self plenty of room between each item.

Next we are going to look at each idea and start to make an actionable list of what needs to happen to make the dream a reality. this does not have to be a point by point plan just five or six things that could be done to get you started. Now that this list is complied start to look at what is practical and achivabul from your curent situation.

Now with the field narrowed down and the proses laid out before you turn to the thrid sheet of paper. At the top write out your long term goal in life. Below that write out your values, and your commitments numbering the values and lettering the commitments. On the second sheet next to the description of each dream place the number of the value and the letter of the commitment that each idea satisfies. Now do the same with the values and commitments that the idea goes against but this time cross out the number.

This proses not only gets the ideas out of your head, it allows you proses your passions and dreams again your values and commitments so we can live in a manor that is responsibul both to our selves and to the world around us.

The gift of value

In the past we have talked about how we behave the way others expect us to behave. This is one reason we should only take on commitments that we know we can keep and that are in line with our values. Knowing that others have a good option of us gives us an idea of how much they value us which intern contributes to our own scents of self worth.

This Christmas I received a gift from my sister that defined exactly how she felt about me. This present was nothing more then a little red box but inside it I found a number of small papers with words she felt described me. The idea of the box is that others can add there thoughts to it as well and that way we allays know that we are valued and respected by others.

While i do not get to see my sister as often as I would like I now have a way to know ohw she feels about me any time I need it. This pushes me to be the person she sees me to be and keeps me moving forward even when i just want to stop and rest. This is one of the greatest gifts i have ever recived and i am making a list of people i want to share it with by giving them there own Box of Value.

So my question to you is there some one in your life that could use the gift of value. Some one who needs to know that others suport them and love them and find value in there very existance? If there is some one like that why not make them a Box of Value?

Create a network of support

It seems I have been talking a lot this week about not giving up, but I am not the only one. Over at wise bread I was reading an article by Sarah Winfrey on just that topic and it got me thinking about how we so often shoulder the troubles in our life alone. I know this especially true for me, I do not so much suffer from a fear of failing as a fear of other people seeing me fail. When things get rough in my life I don't let on and try to just keep the surface calm so no one will see the turbulence bellow.

This is not the right way to deal with hardships and troubles. The energy and effort we put in to looking like everything is fine just drains the energy we have to actual fix the problem. When we keep our problems to our selves, no matter how good we are at it our close friends and family will see that something is wrong. By not sharing our burdens with them we shut them out and cause them pain even if they are not aware of it on a conscious level.

When trouble comes calling we need to realize that we do have a support network in place. There are people who care about us and will most likely help us in any way they can. When a friend of ours listens to our problem and tells us they know we can handle it or that we will get through this together we become stronger. The knowledge that someone else has faith in us even when we doubt ourselves can be enough to keep us going and not to give up hope.

So how do we develop the network of support in our lives?

The most powerful way is to be there for others. Is there someone you care about that is going through some hard times? Let them know you are willing to listen. When we show we are there to listen and help we create a stronger bond with those around us and they will naturally become more concerned with our own well being.

Don't be afraid to show the pain. We are confronted every day with the question how are you? We get it at the grocery store, we get it from friends: we here all the time. So often we just respond without thinking and say fine, doing good, or OK. sometimes we need to be honest about how we feel, now I am not saying you should heap your problems on the waiter when you go out for dinner tonight but when a friends asks how are you doing give them an honest answer, and expect one in return. I used to work with a young lady who took this idea very seriously. When people came to work she would always ask them "how are you doing?" She would watch as they answered and if she did not believe there fine or OK, she would ask again "how are you really doing?" She got a lot of people to open up and I suspect that many shifts ran smother because of that one question.

The other important element of a network of support is to share the good times as well. When we have a victory in our lives and we want to celebrate it. This is the time to bring along those people you love and care about. When all we talk about is the hardship we are going through that weakens the bonds of friendship as much as only sharing a glossy, superficial version of our lives with them. We have to do more than just bring our baggage when we talk to our friends, we need to take them on the cruise with us as well.

So remember you are not going through your troubles alone. There are people out there who care about you and want the best for you. Help when you can and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. As always I welcome your thoughts in the comments section and if you know someone who needs to hear what I am saying send them a link. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend.

My big news

So a while back I mentioned that I had some things going on in my life that I wanted to share with people in person before I put them on the blog. With thanksgiving over I have seen and talked with the people I wanted to and am ready to share my news with everyone here.

I am going back to school! I will be majoring in journalism, first finishing up some classes at my local junior college and then transferring to SF state to finish my BA. It will be an adventure being back in collage at 37 but this time I am going with a clear focus of what I want to achieve.

A common reaction to this is that journalism is dying. While it is true that traditional print media is having trouble adjusting to the digital age I feel that journalism is on the cusp of a major change. This change I believe will revolutionize the way we interact with data and the way it is provided to us. That said I do not claim to know what the final outcome of this change will be however I do know that I would rather be involved in shaping it then watching from the sidelines.

Being involved in the innovation and development of the new media landscape interests me, but that is not the reason I chose journalism as my new career. The reason for my choice was actually the result of the life mapping process I have been sharing with you. I sat down one day and began listing my strengths and weaknesses; my values, dreams, passions, and commitments. Once this was done I looked at it and began brainstorming ideas that I felt were in line with what I wanted while at the same time were a practical way to make a living.

I did go in to these proses with some preconceptions: I knew I need to change my life and I knew I needed to go back to school. If starting the process with a completely clean slate would have taken me somewhere else I am not sure but I am excited about my return to academia.

Have you made any life changing decisions recently? If so share them with us in the comments. Have a great day.