Using the Criticism Tool

Being good enough and knowing we are good enough are two very different things. Without the ability to accept that we are capable of doing work that is worthy of the title of professional quality we may do great work that no one will ever see.

The unfortunate truth is that we will never know if we are good enough if we do put ourselves out there to be judged. Also it is true that we cannot please every viewer, every critic or every person who looks at what we do. These two facts mean that no matter how good our work we will receive some negative feedback.

This is one of the best things that can ever happen to us.

Negative feedback is like a light shining on the things we need to improve. We only see the work we do from the inside. Praise and criticism are both views from the outside looking in. These views can help us to grow and fine tune our work.

While praise may feel better it can be more dangerous to our creativity and our ability to do our best work. Praise can catch us in the trap of trying to create the same great thing over and over again.

On the other hand criticism can point out the place where we need to grow and encourage us to try something new.

Fireworks and Light Bulbs

Here in USA it is once again Independence Day. The sky will fill with bright colors and loud noises as the fireworks paint the night and the crowds ooh and ah. Then as the festivities end families will come home, they will retreat from the night behind the walls of their home and banish the darkness with the steady reliable glow of electric light.

The fireworks from earlier in the evening got the glory and the adulation but the light bulb gets the trust. For all their flash and glory the fireworks are only there for a moment. They chase the darkness away but then are gone and the darkness rushes back in. They are precious for their ephemeral nature, but they are not reliable.

The light bulb on the other hand is there day in and day out. It works in the background, only becoming evident when it burns out, when the switch is flipped and there is no warm comforting glow. But even then, even in the moments when they fail it is but a moments work to replace them.

In personal growth we need to be light bulbs. We need to work every day and when we burn out and falter we need to be able to marshal ourselves and in just a few moments get back to work. We cannot afford to be fireworks making sudden, aggressive attempts to change and then giving up as soon as we fail.

Also like the light bulb our work on growing and changing should not be a show for the crowd. Instead our growth should be quiet. The purpose of our work is for us to be better, not to be praised for trying.

Confidence and Egotism

There is a difference between being egotistical and being confident. Confidence gives us the strength and conviction to do things. Egotism gives us the belief that we have a right to do what we want and everyone else be dammed.

Unfortunately egotism can creep into confidence. The fact that we start getting what we want due to confidence can make us believe that we are entitled to get what we want. This is not true. Everything we want and need in this world should be the product of work.

There will be times when things are handed to us, birthday presents, lucky breaks, but these are the exception. They are the sparkling prize and they should never be expected. We should never resent not getting something for free.

The bottom line is that we need to be confident but we don’t need to be egotistical. When we work for someone, they are not lucky to have us we are lucky to have them. We need to do our best and not let ourselves believe we can do no wrong