Want

One of the problems that come from tying happiness to satisfying exterior wants is that what we want is not always realistic. When we desire or must have this product or that gadget and think we must have it to be happy but the money or the supply is not there we will be disappointed, and worse, distracted from finding the things that can really make us happy long term.

We live in a world that literally sells us the idea that we can be happy if we have things and that no matter how much we have we could always use the newest model of it to be that much happier. We live surrounded by the din of advertising, salesmen and peer groups who show us that this is the right way to live.

We have to be on guard every minute to make sure the voice in our head telling us what we want is our own voice. How will this gadget satisfy a need in our life? How does this product make our lives better? Is this a real need we have? Is it an area of our lives that needs improving? Being able to sort out our real desires from those placed there by advertisement is one of the basic steps we need to take to find the direction to guide our lives in.

Happiness

Happiness, we all want it. We are told there is something wrong with us if we do not have it and it always seems to be a fleeting thing when we do have it. The secret to happiness is being honest with yourself, understanding who you are and what it is you want.

The false fleeting happiness that we chase after, those that come from outside ourselves are like a drug addiction, we need that next fix to feel happy. This is not the way we want to go through life.

When we begin to listen to our inner voice and hear the wants and needs of our heart we can begin to find long lasting ways to fill them. This is why we change our lives, to create a space to make ourselves happy. This happiness comes from within and gives us a place of refuge in times of stress, in times of darkness and times of pain.

I cannot tell you where to find happiness as each one of us is different; we each have different drives, wants and needs. But I can tell you where to look. Look inside yourself, take the quiet time to listen to your heart. Take the time to compare what you want to what you think you should want. Understand where these desires are coming from, find if they are safe desires and find a healthy way to fulfill them.

There are also unhealthy desires. Wanting something is not enough to justify it. A drug addict may want drugs but that need is hard on his body. We need to examine our wants and see if they are just a mask to make us feel good or if they are the deeper wants of our heart. Facing the deeper wants is hard. We wear fake happiness most of the time because we need to hide from the knowledge that we do not have the things we want in life. However, if we are able to face the hard things we can start constructing a plan to get what we need. Ignorance of what we want will only lead to more covering up, and more sadness all around.

Determination

The one who wins is the one who does not give in. Determination, the willingness to stand up again and again is one of the most importent qualities we can have in our quest to be the person we want to be.

One of the best ways to foster determination is to set goals we really want to achieve. When our tasks go beyond satisfying the expectations that society puts on us we are willing to suffer more hardship to realize them.

By chasing what we really, truly want we develop the habit of determination.