Change happens

Change is going to happen whether we want it to or not. There are the inevitable changes of age, seasons and mood. There are the changes we work to creat promotions at work, personal growth, or getting good grades. Whatever the type of change we must understand that it is going to happen, we can not stop things from changing but we can control how we react to change.

We really only have two options when it comes to dealing with change and neither one is correct in all situations. We can fight against the change or we can accept it.

Fight

When we fight change we are struggling to keep things the way they are, and this may be in some situations a losing battle; this however is not a reason not to fight it. Let us look at the example of our health, something we all want to preserve, age diet and activities (or the lack there of) will take a toll on our bodies this is inevitable. By taking proper care of ourselves we can slow this process; this is a losing battle that is worth fighting.

Not all fights against change are worthwhile however we must understand what it is costing us and what we are gaining. Learning how to let something good end in its natural course rather than foolishly clinging to something that is dying can be one of the biggest reducers of stress and regret you will ever find. As we struggle to hold on to things our relationship to them change they become sources of stress, heartache and sorrow. On the other hand when we release them and let them go in their natural course we leave the memories of the good untainted with the bad of the end.

Accept

The other way we may react to change is to accept it. This is more than just resigning ourselves to the fact that things will be different from here on out, this acceptance is bringing the change in to our life and accommodating it in the way we live. Let us look again at the example of aging. As we get older we may develop sore knees, backs, hips whatever and we are presented with a choice we can load ourselves up on aspirin every day and keep trying to do the things we have always done or we can modify our life to minimize the pain. This may mean cutting back on a beloved activity or in some cases cutting it out altogether. However is some cases not doing so may make the bad back worse and in the cores of a life time give you less time to do the things you love. By making a place for the pain in your life you can get more enjoyment as well.

When we are not putting our energy in to resisting change it frees us up to experience the change and find the opportunities in it. As we struggle to hold things close we become focus on what we are losing. By tuning our focus not to what we had yesterday but to what is before us today we can see possibilities, new friends, time for new activities, new challenges to attempt and opportunities to learn.

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Each time we encounter change in our lives we have the choice of how we will deal with it, fight or accept, there is not one answer that is right every time. To know which is the best option at any given time is to be aware of ourselves in the moment, be aware of the costs we are willing to pay and the gains we can realistically achieve from each cores of action and how much risk we are willing to take on in order to achieve less certain gains.