True kindness

The world today needs more kindness. I don't think that this is a circumstance that is peculiar to our times but perhaps a key factor in the social condition of the human animal. But what is kindness and how do we foster it, make it grow and flourish in the hard soil of tough economic times?

Kindness
a definition

Wikipedia has this to say on the subject "Kindness is the act or the state of being kind and marked by charitable behavior, marked by mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others." And this is a good place to start when thinking about the subject. Kindness can be directed at ourselves or at others. Kindness cannot be faked, even when we do something nice for someone out of a selfish motive it is still a kindness. The only time kindness can be corrupted is when we hold our kind actions over the heads of others. However as you can see this does not conform to the definition of kindness since it shows both a lack of tenderness and concern for others.

It is important to note that kindness is not the same as foolhardy generosity. When we are kind we give of our time money and energy to help ourselves and other accomplish what needs to be done. The key here and what separates it from pure generosity is that we do not give what is wanted but what is needed. When you stop to think about it kindness can be quite egotistical, since to give what is needed is to suppose that we can know what others need.

Kindness must be moderated by wisdom

To practice true kindness we must first cultivate wisdom and discernment, we must be able to separate the wants from the needs. We have to have the clarity to see when being given something will do more harm than having to work for it. And we must be able to give only what we are willing to part with. When we give too much we can become resentful corrupting what may have been an act of true kindness. The responsibility for the giving rests with the giver not the receiver since the only action they preformed was to except what was offered.

To give what is not needed is foolishness, to give what cannot be handled is foolishness to give that which we cannot stand to lose is foolishness. When we desired to be generous and kind we must do it in a way that leaves the receiver in a better position not just martially but also holistically. The kind action we take towards them must make them better not just in body but in mind and nature as well.

I need to stop and thank Patty from Why not start now for writing the post that got me started thinking about kindness. So go out there and be kind and be gentle but do it with wisdom. As always I love to hear your thoughts and comments and have a great weekend.