Your goals should be yours

When we decide it is time to grow as a person we often run about setting goals. We look outside our elves to books, to teachers and to blogs to tell us what we should work on. While these sources are great as sign posts if we do not look inside our selves we are still only working on the world's definition of successes. To truly find happiness and be successful we need to do it in a way that is as unique as we are and as personal as our private thoughts.

When deciding if our goals are our own we need to make sure that they meet certain criteria. Do they support our dreams? Are they in line with our values? Does it feed your passions? And dos it honor your commitments?

Dreams: When you day dream and let your mind wander over to the things you would like in your life where does it go. Think back to when you were younger and you knew you would do something great; what was it you dreamed of doing, how would you change the world?

Passion: What exits you what drives you on what gets your blood up? Passion gives us energy to push on to fight when the going gets tough. From passion comes resolve.

Values: We all have guiding principles. These core values help us make decisions and feel that we are doing the right thing. When we work towards a goal that does not fit our values we are left feeling like phonies and fakes.

Commitments: We make commitments to other people and to our selves every day. We must take these commitments seriously because they have a huge effect on how people see us. They affect how people expect us to act and therefore how we will act when we are around them.

When we set goals we need to think about these things and decide if this goal is something that comes from inside us or if it is the product of advertising and promotion. If we do change in to the person we want to be we will not be happy no matter how much work we do.

If you want to see these ideas in action, what it looks like when our passions, dreams, commitments and values all line up and are put in to action watch Jamie Oliver presenting his TED Prize wish.

The hard truths of self improvement

Self improvement, personnel growth or finding your place in the world whatever you call it there are some hard truths we must face when we strive to make conscious changes in our lives. These hard truths force us to question our goals and to push aside the things we want for ourselves. They make us stop and question if the effort is worth it and can cause us to never begin the processes of change in the first place. In our journey to who we want to be these are the fallen trees in out path. By being aware of the obstacles in our way we can make a plan for dealing with them.

Hard truth #1: Change takes time. This is a simple thing to say but easy to forget. We are so encultured to want things to happen now and receive instant gratification. Because of this when our efforts do not show immediate results it is easy to discard the work we have done. We say to ourselves that what we are doing is not working and start trying something else. After trying three or four different things without results we give up feeling that we can't change and that we will always be the way we are.

When you feel this way remember, instant gratification is for candy bars and one night stands. These small bursts of instant pleasure come with consequence that far outweigh the moment of passion. Personnel growth is hard work and hard work takes time. There is no way around it so we must acknowledge the fact and make the effort to change.

Hard truth #2: We fear failing. It is often the threat of failure that stops us from even beginning to change. We may want to, we may need to but if we fear failure more then we value success we will not start. When we fail it reinforces the negative aspects of our own self image. Failure will happen to us all at one point or another important thing is to let it be a stumble rather than a fatal fall. Over at studdy hackes Cal Newport has some thoughts about keeping an exercise routine going but his ideas can be put to any area of self improvement.

But when we mess up and miss some days — which is inevitable — things snowball. Our short-term self argues with our long-term self that because we’ve messed up a little bit, it’s game over, and we can now default to eating poorly and stop exercising altogether.

Hard truth #3: We doubt ourselves. We wonder if the goals we have set for ourselves are relay the life we want. We worry that we will not be able to handle the success we are trying to achieve. The only way to overcome this doubt is to be honest with our selves. Have we chosen a path that is true to our values, dreams, commitments and passions? If we have then we will be happy when we arrive at the end of our journey. If we do the hard work of personnel growth with open eyes and an honest look at our own faults and weakness we will be able to handle the success we are striving for.

These hard truths cannot be ignored if we want to succeed in our search for self improvement. When you are confronted with a difficult situation how do you react? What are the hard truths you face in your quest for personnel growth?

The personal compass Part 4: Dreams

When we dream we see the world as we want it to be. Usually when we dream we want things to just happen. However making our dreams real, the very process of changing our lives requires hard work and dedication. While we are in the middle of the hard work we must not forget the dream, instead we must cherish it. If the dream is forgotten we are just toiling for the sake of toil.

While we cherish our dreams we must always remember to be practical in our approach to realizing them, and even in the very nature of the dream itself. If your dream is that someone will hand you $10,000,000,000 it is not likely to happen. A dream of being able to have a productive life with a happy family on the other hand is something we can make happen. That said do not be afraid to dream big audacious dream but when you do make sure they don't rely on some outside force's generosity.

I have the habit of dreaming big, unrealistic, fabulous dreams but the more I look to what I can achieve the more I find my dreams falling in line with reality. My dreams are now moving from a form of escapism and becoming a tool to help me live the life I want. As this happens I find my self dreaming and wishing for things that are attainable. Every dream we turn in to a reality is one leg of our journey completed.

What are your dreams and what are you doing to make them happen? Let me know in the comments and as always have a great day.

* On an unrelated note today is wold AIDS day more info can be found here. Get tested and be safe.

My big news

So a while back I mentioned that I had some things going on in my life that I wanted to share with people in person before I put them on the blog. With thanksgiving over I have seen and talked with the people I wanted to and am ready to share my news with everyone here.

I am going back to school! I will be majoring in journalism, first finishing up some classes at my local junior college and then transferring to SF state to finish my BA. It will be an adventure being back in collage at 37 but this time I am going with a clear focus of what I want to achieve.

A common reaction to this is that journalism is dying. While it is true that traditional print media is having trouble adjusting to the digital age I feel that journalism is on the cusp of a major change. This change I believe will revolutionize the way we interact with data and the way it is provided to us. That said I do not claim to know what the final outcome of this change will be however I do know that I would rather be involved in shaping it then watching from the sidelines.

Being involved in the innovation and development of the new media landscape interests me, but that is not the reason I chose journalism as my new career. The reason for my choice was actually the result of the life mapping process I have been sharing with you. I sat down one day and began listing my strengths and weaknesses; my values, dreams, passions, and commitments. Once this was done I looked at it and began brainstorming ideas that I felt were in line with what I wanted while at the same time were a practical way to make a living.

I did go in to these proses with some preconceptions: I knew I need to change my life and I knew I needed to go back to school. If starting the process with a completely clean slate would have taken me somewhere else I am not sure but I am excited about my return to academia.

Have you made any life changing decisions recently? If so share them with us in the comments. Have a great day.

The personal compass Part 3: Passion

We talked a bit yesterday about channeling your passion in to tasks that we are not passionate about, but how do we know what our passion is? Where do we find it? And most impotently of all how do we use it? Hopefully we are going to try to answer these questions as we talk about the next point on the personal compass.

Our passions are the things that get us exited, that we want to know more about, that we fill our free time with. Our passions are the things that make use happy or that we cannot wait to do when we get a bit of "me time". Christine Hassler at the Huntington Post has this to say about passion:

Webster's defines "passion" as "powerful feeling" and "great enthusiasm." Further definitions include "emotions as distinguished from reason," "suffering," and "anger and rage." Passion is not logical; it does not express itself in tidy, left-brain career steps. Nor is passion easy. The road to passion or "great enthusiasm" may require some "suffering."

Passion may be a struggle and it may cause anger but if we are going to live the lives we want we need to make our passions a part it every day; work without passion is drudgery, relationships without passion are servitude and life without passion is monotone.

So how do we find our passion? Chances are you already know what you are passionate about even if not on a conscious level. Think about this you are in a crowded coffee shop and two people are talking at the next table. They are loud and you can't help overhearing what they are saying. As you sit there waiting for your latte you find yourself caught up in the discussion and then it happens one of them says something that is just plain wrong and you can't let it go. You turn and interrupt. Now my question for you is what were they talking about, what subject could get you to interrupt a total stranger? That is were you passion lies.

In the personnel compass passion is the counterbalance to our values which drive us to make choice based logic, on right and wrong. Passions are the fuel for our desires; they make us crave the things we do. They lead us to make commitments without thinking through the consequences. We need to remain aware as we plot our journey through life to balance out goals with both passion and values, and to make our commitments with the same balance in mind. In doing this we stay on the course we have set four our lives and every day we live this way will draw us closer to the pleasant little valley were we wish to be.

So what is it that you are passionate about, what drives you? Let us know in the comments, and have a great day.

The path of our journey: Goals

A few days ago I talked about values and how they were the cardinal point on our personal compass. Today we are going to talk about why we need the personnel compass in the first place. The journey from where we are now to the place we want to be will be defined by our goals. Think of it like this: The end of each goal is the place where we make the next turn on our trip. If we do not know our north from our east we will get lost, the same is true in the journey of life without orienting ourselves to our personal compass we become lost in the wilderness of living. Without a compass we may become lost but without a goal we will not travel any farther.

But what exactly is a goal? It is more than a desire or a dream, it is not something we hope will happen, it is instead something we have put our mind to and said “I will make this happen.”

Goals must be realistic: When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves we do not increase our motivation, instead we create an atmosphere of defeat. While striving for something that we cannot achieve may make us go beyond what we thought we could do in the end we will still have fallen short and our natural reaction will not be to say look what I have done but to look at what we did not accomplish.

Am I saying that we should not set large or hard to achieve goals for our self. No! Without challenges there is no reward and there is no growth. Without reward and growth there is no point in going through the hard ship of personal growth. So look at your big goals then break them down in to smaller steps. Set goals of accomplishing those steps, building momentum towards the bigger goal and then one day when you are standing on top of the mountain you have climbed you can look back and say "I did that and you know what it wasn't that hard or that bad. Bring on the next one."

So what are your goals? Share with us in the comments.