Your goals should be yours

When we decide it is time to grow as a person we often run about setting goals. We look outside our elves to books, to teachers and to blogs to tell us what we should work on. While these sources are great as sign posts if we do not look inside our selves we are still only working on the world's definition of successes. To truly find happiness and be successful we need to do it in a way that is as unique as we are and as personal as our private thoughts.

When deciding if our goals are our own we need to make sure that they meet certain criteria. Do they support our dreams? Are they in line with our values? Does it feed your passions? And dos it honor your commitments?

Dreams: When you day dream and let your mind wander over to the things you would like in your life where does it go. Think back to when you were younger and you knew you would do something great; what was it you dreamed of doing, how would you change the world?

Passion: What exits you what drives you on what gets your blood up? Passion gives us energy to push on to fight when the going gets tough. From passion comes resolve.

Values: We all have guiding principles. These core values help us make decisions and feel that we are doing the right thing. When we work towards a goal that does not fit our values we are left feeling like phonies and fakes.

Commitments: We make commitments to other people and to our selves every day. We must take these commitments seriously because they have a huge effect on how people see us. They affect how people expect us to act and therefore how we will act when we are around them.

When we set goals we need to think about these things and decide if this goal is something that comes from inside us or if it is the product of advertising and promotion. If we do change in to the person we want to be we will not be happy no matter how much work we do.

If you want to see these ideas in action, what it looks like when our passions, dreams, commitments and values all line up and are put in to action watch Jamie Oliver presenting his TED Prize wish.

When the possibilities are to much

There are many things that can stop us from ever getting started on chasing our dreams, doubt, worry, and low self confidence come to mind easily, but one area that is not often mentioned or thought about is the overwhelming issue of possibilities. Some times the problem is not what is my dream or how do I find my passion but instead we are trying to decide which passion should I fallow or which dream should I work on. I was talking to a friend about this very problem and we hit upon an interesting way of handling it.

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you may have figured out that i like lists as a way to organize my thoughts and that is were we will start off once again. Get your self three sheets of paper and a pen and we will get started. On the first dheet of paper write out every idea you want to pusue every dream you want to fulfill and every passion you wish to explore. When this is done go through the list and on the second sheet of paper write out the top five ideas from your first list giving your self plenty of room between each item.

Next we are going to look at each idea and start to make an actionable list of what needs to happen to make the dream a reality. this does not have to be a point by point plan just five or six things that could be done to get you started. Now that this list is complied start to look at what is practical and achivabul from your curent situation.

Now with the field narrowed down and the proses laid out before you turn to the thrid sheet of paper. At the top write out your long term goal in life. Below that write out your values, and your commitments numbering the values and lettering the commitments. On the second sheet next to the description of each dream place the number of the value and the letter of the commitment that each idea satisfies. Now do the same with the values and commitments that the idea goes against but this time cross out the number.

This proses not only gets the ideas out of your head, it allows you proses your passions and dreams again your values and commitments so we can live in a manor that is responsibul both to our selves and to the world around us.

The gift of value

In the past we have talked about how we behave the way others expect us to behave. This is one reason we should only take on commitments that we know we can keep and that are in line with our values. Knowing that others have a good option of us gives us an idea of how much they value us which intern contributes to our own scents of self worth.

This Christmas I received a gift from my sister that defined exactly how she felt about me. This present was nothing more then a little red box but inside it I found a number of small papers with words she felt described me. The idea of the box is that others can add there thoughts to it as well and that way we allays know that we are valued and respected by others.

While i do not get to see my sister as often as I would like I now have a way to know ohw she feels about me any time I need it. This pushes me to be the person she sees me to be and keeps me moving forward even when i just want to stop and rest. This is one of the greatest gifts i have ever recived and i am making a list of people i want to share it with by giving them there own Box of Value.

So my question to you is there some one in your life that could use the gift of value. Some one who needs to know that others suport them and love them and find value in there very existance? If there is some one like that why not make them a Box of Value?

The power of helping others

This time of year we are reminded to be more compassionate. We are reminded in these times of celebration to think of those who do not have food and shelter. We are encouraged to give money and food to help those around us. Some of us even go out and help deliver the food to those in need. While this is all well and good maintaining a practice of service throughout the year can have far reaching benefits.

Not only will those we work with benefit from our time and energy but we will be able to reap rewards for our self. As Dr. Thomas Plante points out at Psychology Today

After complex statistical analysis, we find that not only are students who help others more compassionate once they return from an immersion service trip and also at follow up, but they also have higher well being and stress management scores too!

The idea that service to others can lower our stress levels and increase our sense of well being is a powerful one. By giving of our selves we help to create a connection with our community and surround ourselves with other people who are working towards the benefit of others. This connection to people who are struggling for change in their lives and the lives of others can even become a source of strength for us.

So the question becomes how do we get started?

The first step is figuring out what you are willing to do. Feeding the homeless is not for everyone but there are plenty of other opportunities to volunteer in our communities.

Once you know what your boundaries are start looking for a cause that is in line with your values and passions. Are you concerned with literacy in your community? There are programs out there teaching people to read. Do you worry about the elderly being lonely? Then help with a visitation program.

The next step is finding a specific organization that you want to work with. There may be a group in your life which you are already a part of that needs help. If that is not the case you can look for your local volunteer center and they can help you find an organization that will be a good fit with you. Another resource is http://www.volunteermatch.org/ a web sight recruiting service for nonprofit organizations.

Once you have chosen and contacted the organization you will be working with the final step is to show up to do the work you have agreed to. It is unfortunate reality of the nonprofit sector that volunteers do not always follow through on their commitments. This happens because they become too distracted with the problems in their own lives and begin to see the commitment they have made to their community as something that can be put on the back burner. When we do this we are thinking of our volunteering as a chore and not an opportunity to share.

My big news

So a while back I mentioned that I had some things going on in my life that I wanted to share with people in person before I put them on the blog. With thanksgiving over I have seen and talked with the people I wanted to and am ready to share my news with everyone here.

I am going back to school! I will be majoring in journalism, first finishing up some classes at my local junior college and then transferring to SF state to finish my BA. It will be an adventure being back in collage at 37 but this time I am going with a clear focus of what I want to achieve.

A common reaction to this is that journalism is dying. While it is true that traditional print media is having trouble adjusting to the digital age I feel that journalism is on the cusp of a major change. This change I believe will revolutionize the way we interact with data and the way it is provided to us. That said I do not claim to know what the final outcome of this change will be however I do know that I would rather be involved in shaping it then watching from the sidelines.

Being involved in the innovation and development of the new media landscape interests me, but that is not the reason I chose journalism as my new career. The reason for my choice was actually the result of the life mapping process I have been sharing with you. I sat down one day and began listing my strengths and weaknesses; my values, dreams, passions, and commitments. Once this was done I looked at it and began brainstorming ideas that I felt were in line with what I wanted while at the same time were a practical way to make a living.

I did go in to these proses with some preconceptions: I knew I need to change my life and I knew I needed to go back to school. If starting the process with a completely clean slate would have taken me somewhere else I am not sure but I am excited about my return to academia.

Have you made any life changing decisions recently? If so share them with us in the comments. Have a great day.

The personal compass Part 1: Values

Now with our life map draw. Now with our failures and victories laid out before us. Now with our rout through the territory of our lives clearly marked it is time to begin plotting our course in to the future. To do this we need to look at our compass to guide us. The north on the compass of our lives is our values. This is the point we alien our lives with and measure everything else against. We must understand what we value and why; or we will follow any cores that is laid before us with no heed for where it may lead.

Most of us take our values for granted; while we make dictions based on what we feel is right we do not take the time to ask the question “why do I think that is right?” To plot a course that brings us where we want to be in the future we must know what we value.

The only way to understand what we value is to look inside our selves. Sit for a few minutes each day and think about what is important to you and why. What holds value for you?

As for me I feel my core values are freedom, honesty and compassion. If the choices I make bring more of these things in to my life and the lives of those around me in am living within my values. I cannot say this enough; know what is important to you and why. These are your values; you must find them inside yourself. Once you have defined your values you can use them to set the other points of your compass.