Success does not come from trying to be something we are not. Success comes from becoming the person we want to be. This definition of self has to come from inside and not from outside. This means we have to know our self if we are going to know what we want.
This is just the beginning. Once we know what we want we have to be able to protect that identity. By this I mean we have to be able to stay true to who we are and what we believe and what we want in the face of the cultural norm.
At the same time we have to stay functional within our culture. In other words we have to be our self if we are going to be happy, but we have to agree to work within the social conventions of the society we inhabit.
This is the tight rope between quirky and ostracized, the balance between unique and unemployable. This is a balance we have to strive for.