Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Complements are good

Here is something I never understood when I was managing a restaurant: We would write up employees for bad behavior but we kept no permanent recorded of when they did things right. This is something that happens in society as a whole we are more apt to remember failures, our own or those of others, much longer then we remember the good things that people do. Unfortunately I do not have a solution to that other then perhaps giving out more complements.

If we are going to do this however there are some rules that should be fallowed.

Be sincere: If we are just throwing out complements for the sake of complementing some one then they become cheapened. However if we really appreciate what they are doing that comes through as well.

Be timely: Complements are not as powerful if we wait a year or two to give them. Let people know you notice their hard work, there effort or their skill when you notice it.

Be free: This is the hard one, do not just reserve complements for those you like and love. People we don't get along are also capable of doing good work and a few appreciative remarks can go a long way to building bridges or lessoning hostilities.

So why talk about complementing others in a personal development blog? Because by teach our selves to look for complements to give we will change the way we look at people. We will shift our attention from people flaws to their strengths. As this becomes habit we begin to see the world differently, we do not stop noticing the flaws but we begin to see that they are balanced by the positive efforts each and every one of us contributes to society every day.

Also complements are contagious. It is human nature when someone says something nice about us that we want to return the favor. Receiving complements is a great boost to the self esteem and confidence. By being in the habit of pointing out the positive aspects in others we help them to look for our own positive aspects. Take the time this week to look for the good jobs that other people deserve recognition for and give it.

Editing project: Look for your limiting beliefs


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