Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Do not create specters

Grief will come in to our lives. It is not pleasant but it should not be ignored. Just as happiness should be acknowledged and celebrated we must treat grief the same way. Why? Because grief comes when something good end, an ending that we knew could not be avoided. So we grieve, we miss what we had, and we honor the happiness that has been lost. If we don't grieve we are doing a disservice to what we have lost, if we fill the whole that the end of the good thing has left in our lives with just anything where is the honor and reverence that the wonderful happy moments deserve.

Grief comes from the knowledge that this will never be again. We find ourselves missing what we had, maybe not realizing how important it was to us or not being able to let it go. We must let it go, not all at once, but a little bit here and a little bit there. This is what grief is for putting to rest the desire for the things that are no longer available to us.

If we hide from our grief filling our hours with meaningless activities that dull the mind to the sensations around us then the feeling of loss hide within our mind. They can turn to fears, specters of good times past that can chew at our hopes and dreams. There bite is this thought and this thought only no mater what form it comes in: "I should not try to be happy because it will end and then I will feel sad" These specters tear apart our self-worth and ability to achieve our goals.

If instead we live in our grief for a time, the hole created by our loss will begin to fill. The happy memories, the important memories will live in the place of what has gone away. We begin to know that happiness is possible again because we have had it we now know it is real. In living in our grief we do not look away from our own lives. If we grieve then that is what we are doing here now and it is what must be done.

Suffering and loss will happen to all of us. If we do not give it its place in time then we are know better than a teenager in a horror movie going out in to the woods alone at night. The slasher will attack just as our own specters will devour us if we do not take the time to say goodbye.

Have a good day. I