Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A problem with confidence


There is one major problem with confidence and that is we are most likely to have it when we need it least. When things are going good, when life is moving along nicely confidence is easy to have. When things start to go downhill and we really need the perks that confidence brings, well then that is when we seem to have the least. We need to find tricks for weathering theses storms of stress without our scenes of self-worth being shipwrecked.

Battening down the hatches: How to safeguard your confidence in the rough seas of the real world

  • Rest on your laurels: we all have accomplishments that we are proud of to one degree or another. While it is not good to grow complacent because of successes there is strength to be mined from past victories. We need to be able to use these as touch stones something to remind us that we are capable of success.
  • Shore up the foundation: Little successes build confidence, if we find our confidence slipping we need to set ourselves challenging but achievable goals that can be accomplished quickly. This will create a momentum of confidence and strengthen our foundation for bigger problems.
  • Cut our losses: Sometimes when we get stressed we start obsessing on the wrong solutions to the problem. We think if I can do this one thing everything else will be better. We struggle and toil to accomplish that one thing putting more energy in to the task then it deserves and as a result several other projects fail. We need to be aware of what will be productive and possible. Honesty and constant revaluation of our strategies are the only way to know what is working and what is not. When our confidence is running low we do not have time for things that might work, only things that will.
  • Be reminded of how great you are: Talk to a friend, a good friend and do it honestly. Admit your sense of defeat and listen when they tell you good things about yourself. When our confidence gets low we tend to dismiss these complements brushing them aside without letting them register in our minds. What are friends are telling us is what they feel, why they like us, and what they believe to be true. This has value, and we have value to them so give their words the attention they deserve and listen.

The bottom line is this: We never lose confidence we just quit believing that it is founded in reality. Well it is, there are reasons why we feel confident and good about ourselves. Just because life gets difficult sometimes does not invalidate those reasons. So as the gale b lows and the waves pound and the lighting cracks the sky stand tall, stand proud and meat the storm head on!

2 comments:

Aine Butler-Smith said...

Sometimes what I am finding as I've grown to a place of feeling more and more confident in myself and in my life, that when I have times of slipping confidence there is really something else going on. Sometimes it's simply exhaustion and I just need to recupe. But there are other times when it's an intuitive response telling me to slow down and not jump the gun, that I need to review the situation carefully and that I may need to be going in a different direction or putting my energy elsewhere. Usually when I pay heed to these clues from my body or my intuitive voice, I readjust and my confidence returns.

Aine
http://theevolvingspirit.blogspot.com

Quinn said...

Honestly I have never thought of a lack of confidence as an inner intuition and guide post to review the situation. This is something I will have to think about and try out in my life. Thank you for the insight Aine.

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