Monday, March 22, 2010

It is up to us

It is up to us to be the people we want to be. That should be both a joyous thought and a troubling one. There is no one else who is responsible for defining us. They can try, people label each other all the time but a label is not a definition. All they do is define how they see us and the things that they associate with us. Who we are, the labels that are important are the ones that are in our own head. The other side of this is that if we are not who we want to be there is no one to blame but ourselves. Now you can say I want to be rich and other people keep taking my money or I don't have the opportunities that others do. Then I say you have to make changes, find ways to keep you money, make the opportunities happen.

Is this easy? No. Will it happen if you don't put effort in to things? Maybe, but that is blind luck and not worth counting on.

In the example of being rich the two objections that I raise can really be applied to any type of change we wish to make in our lives. We also have to understand that there is only one solution. We cannot change the behavior of others we can only change own. If you feel that other people are taking your serenity, your confidence, your drive; then you have to make changes that protect these things. Make time in your schedule for quite meditation, practice daily affirmations of your own self-worth, take time each morning, afternoon and evening to restate your goals. Yes we can ask others to change, we can explain why what they are doing is damaging us but there is no guaranty they will be willing to alter their behavior and if they do that they will be able to be consistent about it.

Secondly we need to create opportunities for ourselves. This means seeking our situations, events or times were we can put our abilities to the test. This can be thought of, at least in part, as stepping outside the comfort zone but there is more to it than that. We may feel comfortable doing something we are good at but taking it to the next level pushing ourselves to do it better can still create an opportunity. Finding, creating and experiencing these opportunities will reinforce our definitions of self in those areas they test. This reinforcement can be used to create more wealth, confidence, serenity or drive. The power of opportunities does not fade when they are over instead they can become touchstones, something we can point to and say I did this.

So remember that it is up to you to be the person you want to be, define yourself on your terms, protect what is important to you and find the opportunities to grow. That is life. Have a great day.