Monday, July 12, 2010

Don’t dwell on the negative

For years I worked in restaurants doing everything from managing to dishwashing and I saw a lot of people who were miserable in their job. They would complain about having to be there on a Friday night, about having to stay late and about the people they worked with. Then there were the other people, they did not necessarily love their job but they did not complain every moment they were there. For them the shifts passed quickly and things got done. I know this since at various times I have fallen in to both groups.

When we are constantly complaining about how bad we have it we are drawing our attention to the negative, usually negatives we can not change reasonably. For example we may hate to work on Friday night and we could change it, we could quit or job but this is not a reasonable response. The constant griping just reminds us that we are unhappy and thereby makes the unhappiness deeper, the frustration grater and the resent of our situation grows.

By turning our eyes to the positives of the situation, for example I'm making money; we can reduce the irritation we feel while in the situation. By not looking at the clock, not wallowing in your own misery we can allow the negative aspects of the situation to fade. This is not to say we should not try to change a bad situation but we should relies that maybe our own attitude is part of the reason it is bad.


Teri said...

Husband comes from a long line of gritchers and complainers. Thankfully he has worked very hard to break the cycle. It's a miserable life never being happy...

Quinn said...

Quite true Teri, and it is hard to be happy when we remind our selves all day why we are not.

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