Part of what I have come to understand in my quest for personal growth is my relationship to myself. Before I started making changes in my life I would do whatever people asked of me or want I thought they wanted me to do. I had a deep subconscious fear that people would not like me if I did not do the things they wanted me to do. Years of having this unrealized voice in the back of my head has diminished my tendency to want. This is a problem.
Wanting is a key component of personal growth. Without the ability to want something in our lives to be different we have no drive to change. Personal development is a self interested process, the place where we start from is taking an interest I our self. We have to be interested in our own progress, we have to accept that we must do things for ourselves and that we are worthy of having the things we want.
The last one can be the hard part for me. The idea of my own intrinsic value is something I do not easily comprehend. However the value is there, we are all worthy of happiness. Now let me spell this our so there is no confutation: we are worthy of happiness that does not mean God, the universe or the people we interact with owe us happiness. We still have to work for it. We must take charge of making sure that we are surrounded by the things that make us happy.
If we have set ourselves on a path of personal growth we must also learn to find the things that make us happy in ways that do not lessen the happiness of those around us. Just because we do not owe others happiness this does not mean we should not work to give it to them, as long as we remember it is a gift not a debt. This is the line between self interest and selfishness.
It is ok to be happy, so go out there and be happy damn it!