I have been talking with a few friends about what is being selfish and what is not. As you may remember I am a big proponent of knowing what you want and then doing what you can to get it. On the other hand I also believe that we need to be aware of the impact our actions have and our responsibility to act compassionately. While this can be a fine line to walk, it helps to understand what it really means to be selfish.
Selfishness is claiming things that will satisfy the desires of another in excess of the amount needed to satisfy your own wants and needs. With this in mind it becomes clear that we have to know not just what we want but also when a want is satisfied.
If we ere on the side of pleasing others then we allow them to be selfish, forsaking our wants and desires to make sure theirs are met. On the other hand if we over-satisfy ourselves we risk hurting others.