Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Getting what we want

Why is it jerks always seem to get what they want? Is it because they are rude, arrogant and loud? Maybe but most likely the answer is simpler than that and fortunately something we can apply to our lives without being a jerk our selves. Simply put jerks are not afraid to tell us what they want and don't take no for an answer. Where the jerks of the world go too far is that they do not except compromise without a fight, and when they do they do it sullenly.

So what can we do to emulate the jerk without being one?

It starts with knowing what you want. By knowing what we want when someone asks we appear decisive and in control. This means taking the time to be in touch with yourself and listen to the little voice in your head that says a burger would be nice right now or I would look good in a new pair of jeans.

Be vocal about what you want. This does not mean we should be wining about what we want all the time. Instead we need to be willing to state our opinions and desires when asked for them. For example at the office when a coworker asks "what do you want for lunch?" be ready to tell them "a hamburger sounds good" rather the "I don't know what sounds good to you"

Don't give in unless you chose to give in. It is important to not back down the second someone else makes a suggestion on a course of action. If you think your idea or desire is better for the group be willing to fight for it. If the other idea is better go with it, but do it because you chose to change your mind not because someone else is forcing you to. When we have made a concession to the wants of others we must not sulk about it because we have chosen to let them have what they want.

Why should we even try to get what we want? Getting what we want builds confidence. I think that we can all agree approaching life with confidence is one of the keys to succeeding in any endeavor. The lack of confidence can cause our doubts to overwhelm our excitement and motivation. The lack of confidence can affect how others see us and relate to us. Most impotently a lack of confidence builds on its self making the problem harder to overcome with each passing day. Fortunately the flip side is true as well and confidence creates confidence. So go out there be decisive, be strong and have a great day.


Henri said...

I think jerks aren't afraid to take action. So many people today know what to do, but they aren't doing it. Confidence is definitely key, just like you said.

Another thought-provoking post! Nice :)

Heather said...

I need to be more vocal about what I want..... I pull the "I don't know" card a lot... I stumbled upon your blog .... I'm thankful for that!

Quinn said...

@henri that is quite true they take action without concern for the emotional impact on others. We need to emulate the action while considering the collateral damage

@heather welcome to the blog, I am the same way a lot of the time. What I am trying to do now is take a moment before responding and think my answer before I say anything. When i catch myself making a deferral to others ideas I try to self edit, that is if I care about what the outcome of the decision is.

Positively Present said...

So glad I found your site via the comment you left on my post on The Bold Life. Thanks for commenting on my post! I really enjoyed reading this one by you. Really well done!

Belinda Munoz said...

Hi Quinn. Good points. Yes, getting what we want builds confidence. A noble cause in my view.

I think the saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" is true. But I also think that apart from being decisive, it's also good practice to put in the effort to getting what we want. Go out and get it but, to your point, don't be a jerk about it. :-)

PS. I neglected to mention the first time I visited that I really like the title of your blog. Very triumphant.

Quinn said...

@ Positively present thanks for stopping by and thanks for you kind words

@ Belinda If we do not know what we want and make take action to make it happen we will never get there. Thanks for the comment on the sight title by the way i sometimes feel a bit insecure about it after reading some of the other great names out there.

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