I realized something the other day; well ok last night really, sometime during the course of the semester I started to hide behind my role as a student. There have been some stressful things going down in my life the last few months which I have not shared here and my excuse, to myself, has been well I just need to get something up on the blog before school. My role of student overtook my life and by making that my priority I was less honest about other aspects of my life. When I say less honest I mean less honest with myself.
The things we do are not our identity. They are just descriptors of the rolls we fill and we should not let them overshadow our nature. This is what I was guilty of, sort of. Part of my nature is to be very guarded about the things that embrace me, the person I want to be owns up readily to his mistakes. By getting caught up in the student role and putting all my energy in to that I was able to hide from my plans for personal growth.
So what is the lesson here? Be yourself first? Be Quinn being a student? Our occupation is not our identity? Or is it something more fluid more difficult? I think it is, and this is something that I will be playing within the next few months. I have this feeling, this intuition that the answer is more along these lines: We need to be our roles like clothing. They need to be tailored to us, a set of priorities that work well with our own base frame of priorities but at the same time allow us to put effort in to priorities put on from outside. Under the clothing of theses rolls we are still ourselves and as we shift from one roll to another our outer priorities shift but our nature our cores does not.
I'm not sure if I am expressing this correctly, and it needs more thought, I would be interested on hearing what others think of this idea. Feel free to comment.
P.S. Some of you might have noticed I have not talked about the stresses I was hiding from, those are topics in and of themselves and I will get there I promise.
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