Thursday, June 3, 2010

This one’s for me

I want to take a moment to-day to talk about the thing I fear most in the world: Rejection.

More than anything else in the world I want to be liked, respected and approved of. This fear has hampered me time and time again in my life. Job hunting, apartment hunting trying to get a date all of it can leave me paralyzed.

Is it world ending to hear that you are not wanted. No. But it hurts like hell. To know you are not good enough for others to like to want to love.

How do I deal with this, how do I stop being scared? It is one thing to know that you are good enough but another to feel it and this problem works on the emotional level.

The place I need to work at this the most is the job market. I need to be though, be strong and face this fear. I will not fail my employers, I will not fail myself, I can do good work but I need to get past this fear of rejection.

Staring at job listings every day all I see is a list of people who are going to tell me I am not good enough for them.

Ok I have externalized the issue enough for the moment, now to deal with it:

Meet the problem head on and expose myself to more opportunities for rejection while working on things that I know I can do but are challenging. Meeting the challenge will help maintain my confidence even if rejected. The exposure to potential rejection will show me that it is not fatal, that I can survive being told this job is not for you, this guy is not for you. I can do this, fear or no fear I can do this, and more so I will do this.

I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listing, and have a great day.


Anonymous said...

I struggle with this too. My rpotective mechanism is to decide I'm all I need and love myself so much there is no reason to let anyone else in. That was great for a while but it's got a little boring. Luckily I've grown into more of a happy medium over time, but I still get very scared when I think people will not like me. I think loving yourself and enjoying yourself and knowing that you ate happy with or without that person or that job is really important. People recognize your confidence and you free yourself up to interact on a level where more reciprocity can take place rather than having a personal or professional relationship based exclusively on.... Wait for it .... NEED. **hugs, dude**

Quinn said...

Very true, thank you.

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